Support is so important, especially in today’s world. It seemed easy to support another person, but not everyone can do it right. It is appropriate to talk about the manifestation of our empathy, not to be confused with compassion (because compassion is one of the reactions to empathy).
Empathy is the ability to understand and feel another person’s feelings. So many people are horrified now, and they want to be heard, but that’s not “I understand you”
Each person has their own unique history and experience, so saying “I understand you” would be inappropriate. It can only cause irritation.
Instead, use phrases like “I want to understand your feelings,” “What you’ve had to go through is awful,” “Can I help you with something?”
Do not devalue a person’s feelings and do not compare his situation with others. So you can only push it away from you and leave it alone with your feelings. Avoid such phrases: “Fools, do not worry”, “It’s good to be alive, and others are even worse”, etc.
If a person does not want to share certain information with you, do not click on it. She may not be ready to share her experience with anyone, so wait.
Do not evaluate a person’s actions: “What if she listened to me”, “Why didn’t she leave right away”, etc.
Emphasize the positive traits, strengths of the person.
You don’t need to say, “Oh, poor thing,” “I’m so sorry for you,” you’re just driving the person into the victim position even more.
Perhaps the most important thing is to be active. Just listen to the person calmly, without interrupting or pushing.
It is also important to remember yourself. You don’t have to support everyone to your own detriment. It is important to act on your own strength when you feel inner energy and resources.
If there is no way to help, it is better to coordinate with someone who can provide quality support.