Today, many people were forced to leave their homes and go in search of safety and shelter to other countries. This is a difficult test for the psyche, during which it is sometimes very difficult to maintain mental balance. A family psychologist tells what she has to face and how to deal with it:
1. Fear. For your life, the life of your children, loved ones. It is he who raises, it would seem, the forces that the treasury came from, and forces them to go. Often nowhere.
Tip: Have you praised yourself for screwing up? Did you say to yourself: “I’m good!”? If not, do it now.
2. Loss of security and support. It is elementary in the fact that there are no native walls on which to lean, people who surrounded. There is no usual arrangement. Maybe there is no more work. Finances are a big question.
Tip: Create comfort wherever you are. Buy at least your cup. Look for “your” people, connect with those who share your values. Support each other.
3. Uncertainty. What to do here? How to live on anyway? How long have you been where you are?
Tip: To learn how to survive in uncertainty, it is important to learn how to plan your day even under such circumstances. Day after day. Today for tomorrow. Better to write it down. Thereby you create your new reality based on the given.
4. Confusion. New people with their culture, laws and rules that you do not know, and often a foreign language – all this leads to confusion and even a feeling of own stupidity.
Tip: ask and ask those who are already there. Read Sign up for language courses. Remember the art of small steps. No need to scold yourself for being stupid. You are under stress, the psyche protects itself and prevents you from collapsing.
5. Loss and grief. Difficult processes that consist of several stages, such as shock, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Many have lost their homes, loved ones, jobs, and money. A lot of losses, pain and destruction that are happening in Ukraine, we live with collective inclusion. There is also a sense of loss of ownership of culture, land, community, and country.
Tip: remember that no one can take away from you what is already your identity. You will always be who you are.
Don’t stay face-to-face in these complex processes. Go to people, get support. Remember that you can live the grief of loss together with others and not get stuck in it.
6. Separation. Divorced families and loved ones. It is very difficult when it is impossible to be together.
Tip: say words of love more often, don’t be stingy. Make a video call, look into each other’s eyes, and talk about love, value, and importance again.
7. Shame and guilt: for surviving, for leaving, for leaving, or for moving on.
Advice: remember that you can help another only if you are alive, only from a living state. You have already done a lot for life, now keep going! This is the only way you can help someone else.