Is it possible not to quarrel with your relatives during the war? Spoiler: it’s impossible now, because aggression comes from all sides and finds its way out through excessive food consumption or through fights. The question is how you convey your message to your relatives. Psychologist and body-oriented therapist assures that it is very difficult to control the form of presentation now, pay attention to this and do not go to accusations.
Instead of making accusations, you can say:
“I am very angry now because of the feeling of helplessness. I’m scared and I don’t understand what will happen tomorrow. I don’t feel safe. Let’s think about what we can do as partners.”
Women are more plastic and emotional now, it is easier for them to process such information. Men, on the contrary, keep everything to themselves, preserve their fears, it is more difficult for them. Therefore, be more careful with criticism of your partner.
Try to use the sandwich principle: good emphasis – constructive criticism – good emphasis. So criticism will be perceived adequately by the partner.
For example, a man said something unpleasant to you, you can answer him:
“Listen, I appreciate and love you very much as my husband/partner, but your words hurt/angry me a lot right now, etc. Don’t do that, please. I ask you to rely on your rational part and be our protector. We will handle everything.”
Everyone’s support is crumbling now, because people feel incredibly helpless. If you have the strength and desire, you can organize a negotiation ritual. For example, to sit down together to talk every evening at 6:00 p.m.
•How are you today?
•How can I help you?
•What’s wrong with you? For example, I get angry at this and that. How are you?
• Let’s find a compromise if possible.
If you have young children, you may experience aggression through playing with them. Or try this game in your pair.
Game for work with aggression:
You stand on 4 “paws” and imagine yourself as an animal that can defend itself with paws, teeth, growl… You play, for example, a family of tigers. You bite, you push with your paw. In such a game form, it will be much easier to experience aggression.