In fact, not every person is given by nature to be a leader. And those who do not possess such a characteristic need to work hard on themselves and develop their personal skills. Every competent coach must have a well-developed persuasion skill.
Personal growth trainings are aimed at revealing and further developing a person’s inner potential, getting rid of fears that interfere with living a full life, improving personal traits and qualities.
Not all activities that are used in personal growth training can be beneficial. And some even carry a latent threat – they can harm the person. It is important to understand how such training can be dangerous and to learn to recognize this danger.
There are specialists who urge people to destroy that part of their personality that they consider unworthy. And you need to do this sharply, as if cutting off a part of yourself. Do you think this training will lead to personal development? On the contrary, it will only break the human psyche. All these objectionable advice, such as: “Throw yourself old” or “Cut your weakness at the root” only lead to the destruction of consciousness, and have nothing to do with professional psychotherapy. Most importantly, they don’t develop your personality.
The main danger of such trainings is hidden in the personality of the leader, that is, the coach. How does psychotherapy work? After working with a competent psychotherapist, a person notices that he is getting much better (in terms of an emotional state). In his life, fundamental changes begin, which make him more confident and more successful.
If the trainer is destructive, after communicating with him, the training participant feels devastated. Such a “master” is often very tough and arrogant. He allows himself to insult and humiliate people, put them in an uncomfortable position, and reproach them for weakness. Such a coach seems to deliberately inflict emotional distress on his students. He also calls it motivation and conditioning.
With the help of the emotional build-up, the coach tries to get approval. He tries to assert himself at the expense of the training participants, and not teach them anything. The leader does not set the ultimate goal of training the participants, he rather submits them to his will, imposes his opinion and makes them follow the advice he gives.
In order to recognize such a “coach” in time, you need to listen carefully to yourself and your feelings. If you feel empty or humiliated, immediately run from this training.
A destructive coach teaches that these feelings will benefit you and lead to personal development. But think for yourself how humiliation and a feeling of emptiness can contribute to this? How many tasks can you accomplish when you are in this state? You will be taught that rudeness and impudence are qualities of a self-confident person, that is, a successful one. You will be pressured, humiliated, and then praised. For what? This is because praise is a way of emotional buildup, which sets you up for complete obedience to the coach.
A truly competent and experienced psychotherapist, who leads his group to development, will never dare to humiliate the client, and will not force him to do those actions that the client does not understand at all. A coach who is well-disposed will teach you to resist rudeness and rudeness, to be able to respond to aggression from another person, and not be aggressive yourself.
Note: if rudeness and aggression are promoted at the training, then such training is destructive.
After attending destructive trainings, people feel guilty, because in any case they will be forced to step over themselves and show aggression, even when they do not want to. When a person does manage to do something that he himself would not want to do, the group reacts with admiration. But, returning home, this person will experience feelings of shame and guilt for his act. It is these feelings that are the so-called bells that it is time to run away from this coach.