One of the most popular topics on the Internet: how to become successful. Success has certain rules that are uniform for all spheres – no matter where you achieve it. And the first rule of success is that it should not be an end in itself. Life is a journey because the outcome—its end point—is decided from the beginning. And you should not turn the precious hours of life into the pursuit of external paraphernalia of success, if you are not happy with the inner feelings when you are alone with yourself… Numerous experiences of successful people have shown that the only indicator of success is happiness. When a person in the background feels happy, he does not want to radically change something – the points of growth that he seeks, but does not make their achievements dependent on the internal balance globally. (How to understand that a person is happy? She is healthy. Physically and psychologically).
So, a successful woman:
First of all, she is clearly aware of her desires and what to do with them. Dreams don’t come true until we turn them into goals. A goal differs from a dream in that it is concrete, has deadlines and an approximate plan of achievement. Even if you can’t see the whole way, you should be able to see the direction you’re going. And don’t wait for help from anyone. I encouraged myself not to give up, even when they gave up and everyone said “you can’t do it”, to go full speed ahead and hope only for myself and my abilities. And I succeeded! It is important to be able to hear your desires and not be afraid to realize them. The best quality of successful people is freedom of choice and the ability to use it.
She is not afraid to take risks, but she does not ignore her fears. While others live in the pen of their indecision, successful people rush towards their goals, overcoming their fears and life’s obstacles along the way. If you want to move forward, you have to face your fears. Never waste the necessary energy trying to ignore them or, on the contrary, pouring a ton of energy into worrying, sometimes groundless thoughts about a negative future that does not exist. How do I deal with fears of any magnitude? I write them out and ask myself: what is the worst thing that will happen if the fear comes true? How do I deal with each of the implemented options?
As soon as you start to bring fear out of the shadows, it immediately becomes obvious that a large part of them are exaggerated, and there are solutions to the real ones. If there is no solution and it’s still scary, don’t climb. Seriously. Success is about courage and bravery, but not about recklessness.
She is not afraid and does not avoid conflict. Business, in principle, is connected with a lot of conflict situations. And only the recognition of the fact of the conflict makes it possible not to get stuck in it for a long time and to realize its causes. It helps a lot to ask the question: “What is the other side fighting for? And what am I fighting for?” An external conflict always starts from within. And understanding the causes of the internal conflict helps to easily find a way out of it through a compromise or a mutually beneficial solution. As a professional mediator and conflict specialist, I know this for sure.
She is not afraid of criticism and knows how to deal with impostor syndrome. The more success we achieve, the more criticism and attempts to devalue our Successes we encounter. Analyze your options. Praise yourself for your achievements. Strengthen your strengths, being as aware as possible and hiding your weaknesses from others. Distinguish the zone of your growth – develop always and under any circumstances! Divide any criticism into constructive criticism – “what is he/she right about and how can I improve it in myself?” — and unconstructive: “it’s about him/her, not about me, I don’t take it.” The most important thing is to learn to manage your emotions in self-talk and use the right (positive) words while controlling your thoughts. Cultivate emotional intelligence.
Don’t be afraid of rejection and objections. We “climb around and through the back door” in the good sense of the word. It’s not about arrogance. It’s about finding any opportunity to bring your idea to life, and in the best possible way. I remember how many people refused to publish my articles, rejected my request to give a lecture. Later, these people invited me to speak at their conferences for decent fees. And yes, my dream of being published in ELLE came true! You wouldn’t be reading these lines if I had given up then. You must learn to cope with internal tension and self-deprecation in cases of rejection, realizing that you and your idea are not needed by anyone until they become valuable to the majority. And that’s normal! Many successful people have gone through a thorny path before becoming desirable to the majority.
Don’t be afraid to lose money and people. Never look at your past as a mistake. Either way, it’s an experience and worth it in the end. Some mistakes from our past can be painful and shameful, but instead of comforting yourself and engaging in self-flagellation, look at them as an opportunity to learn something you didn’t know before. All successful people have their graveyard of mistakes. It’s just not customary to talk about it. The past defines nothing, it only prepares us for our journey to success and wisdom.
Do not waste time. While you flirt with your excellent student syndrome and prepare for months or years the perfect plan to implement your ideal idea, escape from boredom or from your husband, a successful person is already running, making mistakes and working on mistakes as you go. This does not mean that successful people are cocky and self-confident. But they are quick at assessing risks and making decisions. No matter how confused you are, don’t miss the offers and opportunities that suddenly appear. Instead of comparing risks and preparing for months, years for implementation, do something NOW in the direction of your goal. Time is the most valuable resource! That’s why successful people delegate everything they can, buying time. Whatever someone else can do for you without losing global quality, delegate it to the right people. Choose people with your heart, but with a cold calculation – no “he/she is a good person, will manage”. If you don’t manage, you will have to rake at the expense of your time. Delegate everything but love.
Respect your body. Sleepless nights, food on the go, alcohol to relieve constant stress and fatigue will sooner or later threaten your life and success. So far, no one has denied the indisputable fact — a healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Treat your body as a precious temple, and it will serve you in faith and truth.
Value relationships. The more time you spend at work, the more important it is to spend time with your family and maintaining good relationships with friends. Scientists have proven that it is interpersonal relationships that are an indicator of a happy and quality life.
Self-develop. Always study everything that interests you even at the moment. The brain is a muscle that atrophies if it is not exercised constantly. Read, attend interesting courses and trainings. Surround yourself with interesting people — and for this you need to be an interesting person yourself. Work with a coach. A successful person lives life greedily, savoring its new details!
And the most important thing. Success is not about making millions or solving global problems. Your success can be in the achievements of the man who loves you, and in the success of your children, in the recipe for the holiday cake that all your friends are already cooking, in the breed of dog you bred from your Dwarter Terrier. The main thing is to achieve clarity in the question: “What makes me happy and gives me a sense of a full life?” And live this life!