A publicist who promotes humanism, a practicing psychologist, a relationship and education expert, a certified coach, a business coach and an innovator knows how to set goals so that they become a reality.
It is human nature to dream, and everyone does it. But some make wishes, set goals and achieve them, it would seem, easily. And in others, even after special training, nothing works. Why is this happening?
Because you have to dream right. No visualization boards, careful writing of goals and assigning them ranks of importance will not help, if you do not take into account the nuances of thinking. I will tell you about a few mistakes, because of which dreams often do not come true, and the goals remain unfulfilled.
Error №1. The older we get, the less we believe in miracles
As children, we expected miracles from Santa Claus or St. Nicholas. We believed that we could achieve a lot – you just have to want it. But when they grew up, they learned that there are no miracles and that it is not easy to get a fish out of a pond. Yes, this is true – it takes effort to achieve the goal. However, this prevents you from thinking correctly and wishing correctly.
Let’s say a person wants an apartment and thinks like this: Where can I get money for an apartment? I earn little, I will save all my life, but I will not save. “
Such thoughts block the search for opportunities.
“Stop! You can’t even go there – nothing will happen there. I’m an adult, I understand that there are no miracles! – Such thoughts come. And you have to think: “I do not know how, but I would like an apartment. I will try, and, God willing, everything will work out. ” That is, it is very important to believe that it is possible, this is the way of thinking.
Error №2. Our desires often concern another person
Many people are familiar with this desire – to want something for someone: for children to learn well or for them to feel good. Go on vacation with someone. Or marry someone. But it is necessary to remember: we can influence realization of desires which concern only us. When another person (at least one!) Is connected with our desire, the chance that it will come true decreases by 50%. And if we are talking about several people, the possibility of fulfilling such a desire reaches zero, because others may not share our desires. The way out is to always plan or dream only about yourself.
Let’s say you dream of teaching your grandchildren or children to play chess. How to do it right? Instead of “I want them to play chess” or “I want to teach them,” say, “I dream of playing chess with my grandchildren on Thursdays, and we’re all good.” Of course, you have to teach them. But you dream about yourself and the feelings you feel at the time of the dream.
In such a dream, the chances of realization are much greater.
Error №3. Just dreaming is not enough
It happens that someone wants to get a million dollars: set a goal, draw $ 1 million, hang a picture on the wall. And now, waking up, he visualizes every day that he receives them. Maybe it will happen. But if you start doing something: change or find a job (maybe even work for several). Learn well, improve your thinking, expand and change your worldview. And then you can achieve a goal or make a dream come true.
Only the visualization does not work – steps and actions are needed.
Error №4. Obsession with desire
It happens that people dream and put everything at stake for the sake of dreams. As a rule, both the goal and the desire in this case are waiting for failure. After all, a person spends all his energy not on the realization of what he wants, but on simply wanting. Unfortunately, this does not work.
Error №5. You have someone else’s dream
“No matter how much I set myself the goal of learning English, I still haven’t learned it.” Familiar? You may have never wanted to study it. You may know it’s worth knowing, but you don’t really want to. Therefore, it is not possible to study it, because you are unconsciously sabotaging the process itself, because it is not your goal and not your desire.
Error №6. To dream of getting in the short term what is currently impossible
This dream may sound like this: “I want to earn $ 10 million this year.” But if this person now earns $ 4 thousands a month, it is unlikely that he will earn $ 10 million this year. In this case, it is necessary to paraphrase the goal – a big ambitious goal.
In other words, $ 10 million a year or a month is very cool. But it will not happen soon. And we need to plan to earn so much this year that it becomes a stepping stone to $ 10 million.
Next year, you may need to increase to $ 10 thousand or $ 15 thousand. And so, step by step, you are sure to achieve your goal.
You need to want a real thing in time. Money does not fall on your head. Probably, it is possible to win a large sum, but not the income of $ 10 million. According to statistics, almost all big winnings were dropped very quickly, because the lucky ones were not ready for big money – they did not know how to dispose of it. (Although they really wanted it!)
The path to a great goal should be divided into stages. The big elephant must be eaten in pieces – otherwise no way.
Error №7. Dream somewhere in the future
“I want to have a house, a car, love.” As in that old anecdote about a man who catches a goldfish and tells her, “I want to have a palace and a lot of money.” And the fish said to him: “You had it all.” That is, it is important to correctly formulate a dream, goal, desire. How exactly? Right now – as if the dream has already come true. Imagine in detail, in emotions, in feelings – what would you feel? And write it all down.
So dream, set goals, and let them come true!